Angel Prayer O. Kris Widmer
Oh God, I believe this promise…
“He shall give His angels charge over you, to keep you in all your ways.” 
But which angels?
Sure, deliver us from the strong, evil angels. Absolutely.
But also deliver us from all heavenly weaklings.
Remove all namby-pamby wisps,
those incapable of fantastic feats.
I want the angels
that have been working out!
I want no cloud-shrouded diapered infants,
aiming mini bow and arrows.
I want none with folded hands
drifting in somber solitude;
harping on strings,
puckered lips on trumpes,
those ready to…read some scroll.
Please, deliver me from candle carriers!
I want the angels that excel in strength.
I want the angels with black belts.
The ones that won medals in heavenly fencing.
(Bronze is fine with me!)
I want the healed veterans of that heavenly war,
the ones with purple hearts and itchy trigger fingers.
I want the ones promoted based on the number
of knicks on their scabbards and kills to their credit.
Send me these - the sacred snipers.
I want the angels that are armed and dangerous.
Sure…they can also be glorious in radiant robes.
But they must also have just a bit of…attitude.
“Alright! That’s It. I’ve had enough! I’m coming down there.
Divine directive from a distress call!
You’ve been harassing my human long enough.
I’m not going to take any more!”
Yes. Send the angels. Send MORE angels! …but send the strongest ones You’ve got! - Amen