How the Devil Tells the Story of the Prodigal Son

 

How the Devil tells the story of “The Prodigal Son”.

“This is what God is like.”      (Remember, he is a liar)

In the spirit of “The Screwtape Letters” by C.S. Lewis

 

By Rev. O. Kris Widmer

Written April 1 and 2, 2024

 

There was once a rich and righteous farmer that had two sons. 

 

The younger son said to his father, “I need to get away from you! I’m tired of that boarding school with all the rules.” Well, his father said “Well then.  Leave.  You are cut off.  Give me back the bank card, because it is mine.”

 

Not long after that, that younger son packed up everything he owned, he grabbed the cash he had earned from his working at Togos and left, going to a town far away.  There he couched surfed with a few school friends for a month or two, but soon they stopped taking his calls.  He found work in an “Adult Store” for a while, until one of his customers told him he could make more money faster as a prostitute. “I thought only women did that?” He asked.  “Oh please! You know nothing, Honey.  There are lots of men – both straight and gay that would be happy to spend some time with you.   You have the body for it.”  

 

He thought about the gay feelings he had experienced for many years. He thought about how his father wouldn’t approve…but he’d already burned that bridge. His friend showed him the web sites to set up his profiles, and soon the calls started coming on his burner phone.  And he got a steady boyfriend.

 

But, soon he got sick and got tested.  AIDS, even though he had always used condoms.   The calls stopped coming.  He was left begging on the street with a cardboard sign to support his drug habit and give him a bite to eat occasionally.

 

One day, as he shivered in the median at a stop light, he got to thinking…about home.  “My father's workers have plenty to eat, and here I am, starving…and shivering to death! (He had slept that night beside the dumpster behind Walmart.) I will go to my father and say to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against God in heaven and against you. I am no longer good enough to be called your son. Treat me like one of your field hands.’  (And I know it is risky, but I’m going to ask my boyfriend to come with me.)

 

So…The younger son went back to their camp, told his boyfriend his plan and they started back to his father.

 

When he was still a long way off, his father saw him. (He was watching the road through binoculars!) His father became angry and he muttered under his breath; “I knew he’d come crawling back to me some day.”  He grabbed his shotgun – always loaded and always on the porch rail – and ran down the steps and down the road to intercept him, so he would come no closer.

 

His son sputtered out his confession “Father, I have sinned against God in heaven and against you. I am no longer good enough to be called your son. Treat me like one of your field hands.’  His father let him finish, for he loved it when sinners groveled at his feet.

 

There were no other family around, or farm hands for they had run too…in the opposite direction.  They avoided this holy man when he was going to deliver one of his righteous rants.

 

The father said “Listen boy. (He points the shotgun in his son’s direction) The day you left you became dead to me.  I said to myself ‘If my son is going to abandon the straight and narrow way that I’ve taught him; well then, he will never have a home with us again.  You’re on your own, boy.”

 

“Is…is…is that a tattoo on your arm?  Didn’t I read you Deuteronomy about that!  And I can only guess (Looking at his boyfriend) how defiled your once holy circumcised privy member is.   Now listen to me, boy.  Go back the way you came. I don’t want your mama to see you like…(looking at his boyfriend again and clicking off the gun’s safety) this.  Now get!”

 

And his younger son and his boyfriend turned around and walked sadly away.

 

The older son had been out in the field hoeing the cantaloupes. But when he saw, from a distance, what had happened at the end of their long driveway, he too came running. 

 

He came over to his father and put his arm around his shoulder in solidarity. “You did the right thing, Dad.  It serves him right for all he’s done.  As you know, I married Miss Purity, and we were both virgins when we wed.  At least I have served you faithfully as a righteous son should. He’s got a lot of hutzpah coming back here, especially hand and hand…with a man. He knows the story of Adam and Eve!  I hope I never see him again.

 

 “You’re right, my son, and you won’t” his father replied, pulling is righteous and obedient son closer in their one armed hug. “I’m so glad you have never strayed.  You know what will happen if you do, right?  He’s gone now, and we should be glad and celebrate…maybe I’ll even dance.  He’d dead to us.  Now let’s go into the house.  I think I smell some of that tender tri-tip your Mama makes.  Call your friends.”